


It’s Dirty But So Fucking Hot.

by Theforeverbattles



Series: Say Please [13]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Backstory, Body Dysphoria, Boys In Love, Depression, Dom Lee Minho | Lee Know, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Violence, Drug Use, Eating Disorders, Fluff and Smut, Han Jisung | Han is Whipped, Headspace, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Panic Attacks, RIP, Rough Sex, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sub Han Jisung, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, honestly this is a wild part of the fic, minho used to be a dick, there are soft parts too tho, this is angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 10:39:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19424290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theforeverbattles/pseuds/Theforeverbattles
Summary: Jisung has been through a lot but he has an amazing life now





	It’s Dirty But So Fucking Hot.

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY 
> 
> So I know I said there probably wouldn't be another update cause I'm going on vacation, but I had a lot of pre-written stuff that and that's what most of this part it tbh. Also I'm sure you read the tags but this gets graphic y'all know I try to write stuff as real as possible and domestic/relationship abuse is not cute it aint fun. And I wanted to get across how much Jisung has changed in the three years he's been with Minho and how he was before. This fic is also all about what a healthy and happy relationship is supposed to be and how they got to where they are now. It gets deep in this bitch, I might be talking it up too much but I just want y'all to be aware. Anyway, please enjoy!

“Deep breath.” Minho whispers, Jisung’s arms tied above his head at the moment, tears spilling down his cheeks because of the intensity he’s feeling at the moment. His body feels like jello but also on edge. His thighs shaking an arms aching. 

“H-hyung…” He whimpers, Minho is looming above him, a toy pressing against his tip and another buried inside him. The elder tracing his fingers along his skin slowly. He’s came twice already and is completely gone, his mind barely even able to process anything now. 

“Easy baby, breathe, is it too much?” Min comes closer moving to sit on Jisung’s chest. 

Sungie shakes his head no, a moan escaping past his lips. 

“I need words, baby, you know that.” He runs his fingers through his hair, gripping it slightly. 

“I-I, not too much.” Jisung grips the satin he’s currently tied up in. 

“Open,” Min whispers pressing his jaw open. 

Sungie does without question moaning around his boyfriend’s length as it’s inserted into his mouth. His eyes roll back in pleasure, hips rolling into the toy that’s currently pressing against his member. 

Minho moves himself in and out of Jisung’s mouth slowly, keeping a firm hold on his pretty brown hair. 

“So pretty baby,” he whispers, Sungie pulls away and licks his tip only, fingers pulling at the soft material again. He keeps eye contact with Min the whole time, his eyes lazy and half lidded. 

“Do you want your arms untied?” Minho runs his fingers along his jaw. 

Sungie shakes his head again, “words.” 

“No.” 

“They’re shaking.” 

Jisung whines he being caught up in pleasure pain. A haze having taken over his mind completely, he’s at Min’s mercy. And thank god he loves Sungie as much as he does, because if not, this subspace he gets into would be dangerous. As it’s proven to be with Dohun. 

“Don’t-untie them.”

“Do they hurt?” The way Sungie looks away gives him away. 

“You’re a bad liar.” Min moves off his chest. 

“No! Hyungggg, want you!” Jisung whines his legs thrashing slightly. Minho gives him a look and he instantly sinks back into the mattress. 

“You’ll get me, but not if you’re in pain.” Min takes the restraints off his wrists and Jisung moves quickly trying to tackle the elder. Minho catches him, giggling quietly as he pins him to the bed. 

“Don’t be a bad boy.” 

“Hmm not a bad boy.” Sungie tries to kiss him, back arching up, his hands going for Min now. 

“No? Then you need to say when you’re in pain, pain that you don’t want.” Minho grabs his chin but not in an aggressive manner. 

Jisung whines softly, face red, “wasn’t.” He moans softly and tips his head back. Min kisses along his skin, biting down hard, Sungie grips the bed. 

“Hmhm,” Min pulls away, turning the toy up another notch. 

Sungie’s whole body reacts, his back arching more, going cross eyed for a moment. Minho smiles seeing it, and there he goes. He thinks while running his fingers through his hair lovingly. 

“Feel good baby?” 

“Hmhm…” Jisung barely can speak his eyes fluttering shut. Body sweating everywhere, thighs shaking bad now. Minho kisses by his ears, feeling along his body to make everything is okay. Looking for the smallest sign of discomfort or pain. 

He hasn’t gotten Sungie this deep in subspace in months, he’s practically incoherent. Only reacting to Minho’s voice, and even then when it’s stern and partly hard. 

“I want you on your knees at the end of the bed.” Min lifts his chin, biting his ear. Jisung’s eyes open again listening to his instructions. 

“Yes hyung.” He moves slowly, giggling softly as he legs give out under him a little. Minho helps him move, kissing along his back softly. Jisung giggles more his fingers wrapping around Min’s biceps. 

“Look how pretty you are baby.” He smiles leaning down to kiss him, Jisung now resting on his knees between Minho’s thighs. 

Sungie wraps his arms around his neck, his nails scraping down Min’s shoulders trying to lift himself back up. 

“Stay down there.” Minho bites his lower lip, the younger moans quietly, his thighs spreading slightly to push his toy further inside him. Min licks his boyfriend’s lips making Jisung open his mouth, it’s dirty and would gross most out. He sticks his tongue out letting the elder lick right against his muscle, hand on his chin. 

Minho found out after the first few kisses he ever shared with Sungie that his cute little boyfriend had a fixation for things in his mouth. He figured out pretty fast that Jisung is a messy kisser after the first few intense makeout sessions they had. Especially the ones late at night in his dorm slowly rocking into each other. Before they knew what either liked or how to be touched. 

When they were learning each other’s bodies and movements completely. There were nights where Jisung would slip a little and then Min had never even noticed. 

Minho thought Jisung was still a virgin at that point but holy fuck was he wrong. 

Sungie would always start out slow and timid, still on edge whenever they kissed, and Minho always made sure he made the first move. They didn’t actually have sex until two months into their relationship, which practically killed Minho. 

The nights in his dorm were always the hardest to get through without touching each other. At Sungie’s they were still in a small bed but not pressed against the wall. The dorm there was no space to run and hide.

They’d curl up watching scary movies till the middle of the night and Jisung would end up between Minho’s legs just cuddling. But then he’d tip his head back, lips pouted just a little and Min wouldn’t be able to help himself. 

Innocent kisses would be how they said goodnight, and then they’d start to get comfortable and Jisung would wrap around Min. And in the darkness more kisses were shared until Minho was between his legs, grinding down on the smaller boy. Getting soft whines and little whimpers out of him, the sounds making his head spin. 

It was times like this when Min realized how Jisung likes to lick, he’d forget to be timid and shy and he’d let go. He likes to just play with Minho’s tongue practically, pressing them together, licking at him. 

It’s dirty but so fucking hot. 

It also should have been a dead giveaway that his babyboy that he thought was so innocent could suck dick like a pornstar. 

Jisung moans under Min, tongue still out, he’s waiting now, wanting something past his lips. Minho starts with just his fingers, sliding two in his mouth letting him suck on them and bob his head. 

While one hand is preoccupied the other goes down to make sure the second vibrator is still secure around his pink flushed cock. Sungie doesn’t like cock rings much to Minho’s torturous dismay, but he does like harnesses. Which in some cases is even better. 

The leather straps around his thighs and comes up around his member and holds a thin bullet vibrator to the underside of his dick. It’s is so fucking hot. The first time Min put it on him he nearly lost his shit because Sungie looked so good. 

He moans as Minho turns the dial up on the smaller toy. Jisung pulls away for a second, eyes half open, tongue sliding between his digits. 

“Hyung…” He whispers breathing heavy. 

“What baby?” Jisung doesn’t speak again, his lower lip between his teeth, then he sticks his tongue out again. 

“Use words.” 

He shakes his head no, not being able to form any. Everything just feels so intense, it makes him feel like he’s high. Going this deep, putting his full trust in Minho, having someone who can take care of him in the way he can. It feels so good. 

The pleasure he feels from not just the sex but the mindset he gets into is like something he doesn’t feel from anything else. He reaches for Min feeling himself going far enough to almost black out. 

“Words Sungie baby.” Min lifts his chin again and kisses him more. 

“Use me, please, need you too, wanna g-go.” Jisung is almost crying. 

“Hey, you’re okay, calm down, breathe babyboy.” Minho slides down to kneel on the floor with Sungie, taking his face in his hands. He locks their lips, kissing him slowly, Min pulls his hair kissing along his jaw now. 

“Better?” He whispers, getting back up on the bed. 

Sungie opens his mouth again, “y-yes...please hyung.” Minho opens his mouth again and slips his cock inside, the younger latching on instantly. 

Minho tips his head back, Jisung sucking hard on him, his hands resting on the floor in front of him. The elder falls to his back, one arm thrown up over his eyes the other down buried in Sungie’s hair. 

“Fuck-“ He whispers breathing deeply needing to calm himself down. Jisung pulls back licking at his tip only, getting lost in everything around him. All he feels is Minho now, everything else is tuned out completely. 

Sungie leans forward taking him all back in his mouth again, jaw slacking and throat relaxing. He moans around him, falling forward a little. 

Minho bites his lower lip, thrusting forward slightly, testing the waters, knowing what Jisung wants. He feels him moan and grip his thighs, he forces himself to sit up. Pulling his hair more, he thrusts up into his mouth now, going slow to ease Sungie into it. 

The younger breathes out, hands flat on the floor body feeling like liquid as Min fucks into his mouth. Drool drips down his chin, eyes shut but rolled back behind his lids. 

Minho grips the back of his head now, forcing him down harder now. He whines but takes all of it, thighs shaking, his whole body shaking. 

“Pretty baby, you’re doing such a good job for hyung.” Min whispers eyes squeezing shut as he hits the back of his throat. Jisung is crying now, tears mixing with his drool. He doesn’t pull off though. 

He bucks up again and feels Jisung’s throat clench up and quickly pulls out. The younger gasping for air, Min sees how fucked out he looks, and he’s cum again all over himself most likely over sensitive now. Sungie however latches back on, eyes shut still mouth moving more on him. He pulls Minho’s hips closer wanting him to wreck his throat. 

The elder groans but starts a pace again, doing what he wants, and what Minho’s wants too. It’s it just Sungie who gets into a euphoric headspace where everything is intense. Min does too, he craves Jisung, to wreck him, make him scream and tremble. But never to the point of real pain. 

He hits the back of his throat particularly hard and feels Jisung choke out a sob. Quickly he moves his mouth off, knowing that’s enough of that. 

“Come here.” Minho him up. 

“No!” Jisung tries to stay down but doesn’t fight that much. He lays back down, head hitting the pillows. 

“You were choking.” 

“Wanted it.” 

Min shakes his head, Sungie is such a dangerous submissive sometimes. He pushes too much, gets so deep that safe words mean nothing. He likes the fear, and the risk, he wants to try breath play but Minho told him no, he’s not comfortable with it in the slightest. And Min is down for most shit. He also knows deep down it would scare Sungie, he can’t handle being blind folded because of panic attacks and Dohun. So breath play is completely out of the question for them. 

“Don’t be bad Sungie baby, I won’t let you go this deep again.” Minho turns off the vibrators. 

“No! Hyungie! I’ll be a good boy.” Jisung grabs onto him. 

“Kiss me.” Min whispers, Sungie giggles and starts to kiss him in the same messy manner as before. He inhales are as the toy against his cock is removed. 

“P-please, please, need you.” Sungie whines as the second one is taken out of him. 

“I know baby,” Minho kisses him, reaching down and spreading him apart, seeing how wet he still is. The younger arches his back being so overwhelmed but it feels so good. He is in a whole other world, barely able to feel the bed under him or the blankets against his skin. 

Min sees his eyes rolled back again lower lip between his teeth, he slicks himself up and presses into him. The moan that comes from him is beautiful. 

His hands grab at Minho’s hair, panting against his mouth. The elder rolls in deeply, rocking his hips at an easy pace. Jisung is over sensitive, he can tell by every twitch of his body. But his boyfriend likes it, he likes the pleasure pain always has. 

Minho again discovered this by accident, one night at Sungie’s they were making out, hard on the couch. They still hadn’t had sex yet, it was intense and hard and they both came untouched. 

Min had gripped him so hard he left marks the next morning he realized it and felt horrible. His baby, small fragile Sungie had finger print marks on him. On his thin hips, Minho apologized all morning until Jisung pulled him down and whispered that he liked it. 

Now Sungie is grabbing at him, nails biting into his shoulders. Minho starts a pace biting on his neck, holding a leg around his waist. 

They both are moaning softly, Jisung arching his back crying again. Min bites him again, only to pull back and grab his hips hard, that’s one thing Jisung doesn’t like in his headspace. 

He doesn’t like nonloving touches. He always wants kisses and eye contact and praises. Praising is what gets him there to begin with, he wants love throughout all of it. 

“Kiss-“ He whispers, wanting Min to come back down to him, the elder giggles and kisses him slowly again. 

“I love you,” 

“Hmmm love you.” Sungie barely gets out, hands in his hair again. Minho picks up his pace and starts whispering soft things in his ears, kissing underneath on both sides. 

“You’re beautiful,” 

“You’re perfect,” 

“You’re worth so much baby.” He feels Jisung whimper and clench around him. Min groans as he bucks up, actually making him cum before he wanted to. 

Jisung arches again breathing hard cumming dry, his whole body shaking. He’s crying and whimpering, way over sensitive now, “shhh you’re okay baby, breathe honey.” Min pulls out and feels how much he’s shaking. 

The elder grabs a bottle of water from the side table, making Sungie sit up. 

“Hey, you in there babyboy?” He smiles brushing his fringe back off his forehead. Jisung just hums lower lip between his teeth. 

“Drink some water please.” Min opens his mouth and Sungie sticks his tongue out again. 

“Put that away horny boy.” The younger giggles and drinks his water, shaking still, “Hmm gonna go get a cloth okay? Don’t try to get up.” His voice is stern now. 

Jisung nods still drinking his water, he’s high in the clouds still, and not coming down anytime soon. 

Minho comes back in with a warm cloth, a cup of apple juice and a bar of chocolate. After going that intense for that long and having Jisung so deep, he needs to be replenished quickly. 

“Hey What’re you doing?” Minho pulls him by the ankle Sungie shrieking. 

“Hmm chilly hyungie.” He murmurs. 

“I know I see you shaking.” Min lifts the cup to his mouth now. Jisung drinking happily, the juice the easiest way to ease his boyfriend back down from his subspace. 

“Hmm sleepy.” 

“We can go to sleep once you eat this and I wash you up baby.” Minho spreads his thighs gently wiping his messy chest and being extra careful around his entrance. He then cleans himself off and tosses the cloth in the laundry. He also unhooks the harness and rubs his skin getting all the blood flow back into the areas. 

“Lino…”

“Hmm?”

“Love you.” 

“I love you too pretty baby.” Minho pops a piece of chocolate in his mouth and Jisung giggles again. His arms around his boyfriend’s neck. He’s still shivering, his bodying going from such an extreme intensity to relaxing in only a few seconds sends a shock through the system. 

“I want you to put a sweater on please.” Minho gets out of bed again for a second, finding his purple sweater that’s pretty much Jisung’s now, but it’s fine. 

“No…”

“You’re shivering too much for my liking baby, and we haven’t gone that hard in a long time. When you drop I want you to be comfy.” Min rubs his arms trying to get him warmer. 

Jisung scrunches his nose up but puts it on, Minho then pulls him tightly to his chest wrapping their blankets around them too. 

“You feel okay?” Min asks while kissing behind his ears, his arms around him firmly, trying to get his shaking to stop. 

“Hmhm, am sleepy.” 

“Go to sleep then lovebug.” Minho kisses his lips one more time and then nuzzles his face into his neck. Jisung falls unconscious only minutes later. 

*

The next morning Sungie doesn’t wake up until twelve, he feels like he’s hungover, badly. But it’s also  _ so  _ good, his head spins slightly from lack of nutrients in his body at the moment. He’s still in a haze of headspace but not even close to what he was last night. 

Last night, was amazing. Sungie hasn’t been that deep in forever. Hasn’t felt that way in forever. He hums still feeling the affects too, his mind foggy and jello like feeling still along his limbs. 

“You alive in there baby?” Minho’s voice makes him jump, having sat up and not looked around. Having tunnel vision a little still. 

“Hmm…” He moves and crawls onto Min’s chest, nuzzling into him happily. He bites his lower lip, hand on his chest. 

“How are you feeling?” Minho’s fingers slip into his hair, rubbing his scalp gently. He figured Sungie was going to sleep long. He barely moved all night which is very unlike his twitchy little boyfriend. 

Min quite literally put his ass to sleep. 

“Like I just got out of the ocean and can still feel the waves on my legs.” Sungie murmurs he sets his chin on his chest the purple hood up making his hair fall in his eyes. 

“Cute baby,” Minho ties the hood closed making the younger whine and push his hands away. Min giggles and rolls over hugging Sungie tight. 

“You were such a good boy for me love,” He whispers. Jisung squirms, his cheeks red. 

“Forgot How good it feels to have you like that. For me to get like that.” He continues, Sungie hums softly, eyes closing again. 

“Hmm still sleepy.” 

“You haven’t dropped yet huh?”

Jisung shakes his head no, a gummy smile spreading across his face. 

“Want more.” 

“Yeah no, I’m not breaking you baby.” 

“Not gonna break me hyungie.” Jisung takes Minho’s hand and makes him cup his member. Min kisses his neck, giving him a soft squeeze but then removes his hand. 

“You’re too sensitive, go back to sleep baby.” He holds him close to his chest, jisung pouts but wraps his arms around him firmly now. Eyes fluttering shut again. 

Jisung is still high in the clouds, even after sleeping. It makes Min smile and pull him closer. Sungie needs it every once in a while, they both do honestly. 

*

“Where’s Jisung?” Chan asks leaning against the kitchen counter of minsung’s apartment. Min forgot Chan was coming over, he told Sungie he’d help him fix his sound board. However Jisung is asleep still. 

“Asleep I’ll grab his board though I’m sure we can figure it out.” Minho forced his contacts back into his eyes and out a shirt and sweatpants on. Reluctantly. 

“Asleep? It’s almost three.” 

“He’s a sleepy Bitch leave him alone.” Minho’s goes in their room and sees Sungie still has his face pushed under their pillows, the sweater he’s in raised up completely only covering the upper most part of his chest. He’s also managed to kick all the blankets down exposing his cute bum and legs. 

The fact he’s actually moving in his sleep now sets Minho at ease. He’s finally dropping. 

Min moves over to their bed and pulls the blankets back up to his waist so his bare ass isn’t out for the world to see. Not that Minho would mind, if they were home alone. However Chan is here, and Chan is  _ not  _ seeing him like this. 

He places a kiss to his head and then grabs Jisung’s sound board from the closest. Being as quiet as possible. 

Chan now is sitting on the couch his black shirt unbuttoned a little revealing several bright red marks to his pale skin. 

“Damn Woojin went to town on you.” Minho teases while setting the monster of a base on the coffee table. 

“Shut up.” Chan quickly rebuttons his shirt a blush coating his cheeks. 

“You’re cute.” Min laughs and plugs it in to Sungie’s laptop. 

“You’re just as bad.” 

“This, is nothing, should see the rest of me.” Minho wiggles his eyebrows and winks. 

Chan covers his face, cheeks getting a deeper red. The younger lifts his shirt slightly revealing the marks Sungie left last night on his stomach alone. 

The blonde squirms and shoves Minho over making him laugh more. 

“What is wrong with his board?” Chan quickly changes topic. Looking over Sungie’s equipment. 

“I have no idea, he’s just been whining about it for weeks now.” 

“You’re so helpful Min. Why can’t you wake Sungie?” 

“I try my best, and I’m not waking him because he needs to rest.” 

Chan sighs, “the hell did you do to him?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Minho mutters a slight possessiveness to his voice. 

“Hey fuck you, I didn’t mean it like that.” 

“Hmhm.” 

“Also fuck you for telling Woojin, you said you wouldn’t.” 

Min gives him a light shove into the couch, “I didn’t tell him! Your drunk ass drank to a threesome!” 

“You brought it up!” 

Minho rolls his eyes, “he probably fucked You silly when you got home anyway, why are you complaining?” 

“Because, he was not supposed to find out!” 

“Shhh,” Minho covers his mouth and Chan licks him, “ew! Nasty!” He wipes his hand and goes to the bathroom to wash it off. Leaving Chan to figure out the broken board alone for the moment. 

“Lino…” Jisung comes out of their bedroom, rubbing his eyes, hood on, but no pants. Chan stares, he looks so fucking cute. The sweater is big on him but his member is still slightly visible, his feet turned inward a little. 

Is this what Minho wakes up to every morning? 

“Hyungie,” Sungie now whines, Chan knows the younger almost never calls his boyfriend hyung. So Hyungie, throws him completely. Jisung blinks a few times and his eyes resting on Chan a confused look on his face. 

“Channie?” He mumbles rubbing his eyes again, but then he stops and flies back in their room. 

“I have no pants on!” He shrieks and Chan can hear the blush and embarrassment in his voice. 

Minho comes out hearing Jisung, “did he wake up?” 

Chan laughs, “Yeah, he came wobbling out and was looking for you and then stared at me for a second and realized he didn’t have pants on.” 

Min groans, he goes in their room and finds Jisung pulling sweatpants on. 

“I want to die.” He says without looking at his boyfriend. 

“Yeah? What’d you say to him?” Minho giggles and wraps his arms around the younger. 

“I was just looking for you…” 

“What’d you call me?” Min smirks, kissing the side of his head. 

“Hyungie…” Jisung blushes hiding his face, “I hadn’t fully dropped but then Chan killed it.” 

Minho scoops him up making him shriek, “welcome back babyboy.” He teases carrying him out to the couch with Chan. 

“Shut up.” 

“You got pants on now Sung?” Chan laughs. 

“Fuck you, I’m sleepy, and I didn’t know you were over.” Jisung kicks him. 

“Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong with your board or am I playing the guessing game?” Jisung yawns and shifts out of Minho’s lap, wincing slightly. He gets up and grabs his laptop, plugging it in. 

Min watches him press a few buttons and then turns the sound on. The noise it produces is ear piercing. 

“That is what is wrong with it.” Sungie turns the volume down. 

“Your calibrations are off you dingus.” Chan laughs and shifts a couple dials. 

Sungie just got the board, he needs to for school now. He still not entirely sure how to use a portable one. 

“That’s it are you serious?” Sungie leans against Chan feeling like an idiot. 

“Yup that’s it, did you even read the directions?” The elder laughs and presses up on the different buttons. Jisung humming He moves again leaning across Chan’s lap, picking a file to open on his laptop. 

Minho sighs a little forcing his jealousy down, he knows Jisung isn’t trying to do anything. And most likely doesn’t even realize what he’s doing. 

He has always been like this though, getting mildly jealous over Chan and Sungie. Especially when they first met, before he knew about Dohun, he thought Chan was Jisung’s ex. 

When Min first met Bin and Chan he didn’t really like either of them, especially the blonde. And when they met Sungie and him were still in their weird more than friends but what are we kind of stage. 

Minho had called him his boyfriend in front of Ara, and he meant it, they made out a lot, and meant that too. But sometimes Sungie still got reserved and they were only friends then. 

*

_ ‘When do you move out?” Sungie asks currently sitting up on the kitchen counter at his house. Min leaning next to him, having a crisis about moving out of his dorm.  _

_ “Two weeks.”  _

_ “Okay…why are you having a crisis?” Sungie runs his fingers through Minho’s hair, wanting to calm him down.  _

_ “Because Sung, I don’t wanna move back in with them. Like I love my mom but me and my dad don’t get along that well and now I’m like actually used to living on my own.” Min looks up, he takes Jisung’s hand and kisses his knuckles a blush coating the younger’s cheeks.  _

_ “I feel you on the dad part,” He mumbles.  _

_ “I wanna get my own place, so badly.”  _

_ “Could you afford it?” Min hums, he moves to lay on Sungie’s thighs arms going around his waist.  _

_ “I don’t know…” _

_ Jisung hums fingers in his hair again, “when are you actually starting to teach at the studio? Instead of just interning?”  _

_ “They wanted me to start as soon as possible but moving back home makes that impossible. I can’t commute an hour and a half everyday.”  _

_ Sungie groans, “an hour and a half?”  _

_ Minho looks up, “I know, it’s gonna suck ass.”  _

_ “Who’s gonna cuddle me?” The younger pouts, missing Minho is going to be the worst feeling ever. They’ve known each other about a month and a half now, honestly, they’re inseparable.  _

_ “I’ll come visit I promise.” Min stands up straight and takes his face in his hands.  _

_ “Can I kiss you?”  _

_ Sungie nods, face flushed. Minho leans in and kisses him slowly, Jisung fluttering his eyes shut. Kissing Min is like getting high he’s decided.  _

_ It only lasts a second, since Jisung freaked out and Min saw, the repercussions of the freak out its back to square one practically. Shy touches, little kisses but only sometimes, lots of cuddles.  _

_ “You’re pretty.”  _

_ “Shush.”  _

_ Sungie runs his fingers through his hair, pressing a tiny kiss to his forehead.  _

_ “What if, you could start teaching, but it’d be only every few weeks...you could stay here.”  _

_ Min locks eyes with him, “you don’t have to do that Sungie, Seriously.” _

_ “But, What if I wanna…” he looks down face bright red.  _

_ Minho hugs him tightly, “You’re literally the sweetest person I know.” He murmurs picking him up off the counter for a second. Jisung squeals trying to get put down.  _

_ “You really would do that for me? I won’t annoy you?”  _

_ “I mean you annoy me now but I like it.” Jisung teases.  _

_ “You shit.” Min kisses his cheek now. _

_ “Instead of moving back home instantly you could come here if you wanted, test how it’ll work.” He adds quietly.  _

_ “I could marry you you know.” Minho giggles and hugs him tight again. Jisung rolls his eyes, “shut up.”  _

_ “Wanna go for dinner? Ara isn’t gonna be home tonight.”  _

_ “You’re sure about that?” Sungie hops off the counter going into his room to find clothes.  _

_ “Yup, his girlfriend is dicking home down tonight.”  _

_ “Oh my god Min.” Jisung laughs he throws his top in the corner of his room, changing out of his uniform, Minho laying on the couch now. He picks up Sungie’s phone and take a picture of himself and puts it on his story.  _

_ “It’s true.” He snorts. “So I’m assuming since you’re changing we’re going out for dinner?”  _

_ “Yes sir.”  _

_ “Oh Sungie call me sir more often!” Minho moans like a pornstar.  _

_ Jisung rolls his eyes in his room, pulling a long sleeve on so his scaring arms will be hidden.  _

_ “I hate you.”  _

_ “That’s false.”  _

_ Jisung packs a bag, and grabs his toothbrush. Min still laying on the couch when he comes out.  _

_ “You coming hot stuff?” Sungie asks, Minho jumps up grabbing his keys and his own backpack.  _

_ “Where you wanna go?”  _

_ “Don’t care.” Jisung throws his bag in the backseat and gets in the passenger.  _

_ “Why can you never pick?” Min whines, the younger hums, reaching over to hold his hand.  _

_ “Cause,” _

_ Minho sighs, “you’re so difficult.” He hits his thigh whining still. Sungie giggles and leans over to kiss his cheek gently.  _

_ “You missed.” He blushes and pecks his lips quickly, Min smiles and starts to drive.  _

_ Jisung sings to the radio the whole way to the restaurant, using Minho’s hand as a mic. The older boy laughing the whole time at how silly Sungie gets when he’s really relaxed.  _

_ “Min this place looks so expensive.” He gapes once at the place.  _

_ “It’s not, come on.” Minho tugs him inside their fingers locking for a moment.  _

_ “How isn’t it?” Jisung’s eyes are wide when they walk in, the lights are low and there’s blue glow around everywhere. All the tables are black with red folded napkins too.  _

_ “It’s not.” Min asks for a table and Sungie spots really impressive drinks being made at the bar.  _

_ “What you want one of those baby?”  _

_ Jisung blushes at the nickname, “no…” _

_ “I don’t know if I could handle getting you drunk for the first time.” Minho laughs while sitting down. Jisung snorts, elbows on the table, his eyes rolling back slightly.  _

_ “Why do you think it’d be my first time?” He raises his brows.  _

_ Minho narrows his eyes at him, “cause you’re seventeen.”  _

_ “So? You’re nineteen.” Sungie gives him a look. Min gives it right back, there’s no way in hell Jisung has been drunk. Minho refuses to believe it.  _

_ “Yeah but you’re you.”  _

_ “What’s that supposed to mean!?” Jisung looks for something to throw.  _

_ “It means you look cute and innocent and I can’t see you being a hooligan.” Jisung actually laughs.  _

_ “Min you have no idea!”  _

_ “Fine prove it.” When the waiter comes over Minho orders a drink for them to share, getting carded of course.  _

_ “This is a dangerous game.”  _

_ “Sungie you’re literally like two pounds.”  _

_ “Fuck you, I’m tiny but I am not a lightweight, in the slightest.” Jisung scrunches his nose up at Minho. The older boy hums, grabbing a menu.  _

_ “I’ll believe it when I see it.”  _

_ “Min literally, I used to get drunk every night, and that’s not even a joke.”  _

_ The look on Minho’s face makes Jisung giggle, he takes a menu too, “You're lying.”  _

_ “I really wish I was.”  _

_ “Sungie! You’re baby!” Minho is in shock, Jisung looks so innocent, he’s scared of everything. He can’t imagine him going out and partying, getting drunk constantly. He’s so cute and little and not a wild guy.  _

_ “I’m not,”  _

_ The drink gets brought over and they order their food, too, Jisung grabs his straw and locks eyes with Minho, taking a big drink. Min nearly falls from his chair, “bad boy.”  _

_ Sungie blushes deeply and nearly chokes, “don’t call me that!” He giggles wiping his chin, Min smirks and takes a drink too. Leaning on his hand now seeing the blush coat Jisung’s puffy cheeks.  _

_ “Wanna be my Goodboy?” He bites his lower lip and winks.  _

_ Jisung looks like he’s about to combust, hiding his face in his hands now.  _

_ “You’re cute.” He teases and takes another drink, “I can’t believe you’ve done this to me while in public.” Jisung whines, trying to pull his hood up and hide.  _

_ “Get used to it.”  _

_ The younger rolls his eyes and takes another drink too, their food comes a little while later. Both of them giggling not because of the alcohol, just because of the comfort of the other’s company.  _

_ Minho feeds Sungie a piece of pork belly, the younger wiggling happily as he gets fed.  _

_ “Sungie?” He stops mid wiggle, chewing still, looking up to see Chan, Changbin, Woojin And Bin’s boyfriend most likely for the night.  _

_ “Hey,” He wipes his mouth cheeks red and partly still full of food.  _

_ “We thought you had homework that’s why you couldn’t come out?” Changbin narrows his eyes, looking between Minho and Jisung.  _

_ “It’s eight, I finished my homework. You guys said you were going right after school.” Sungie swallows and takes a drink of water.  _

_ “Who’s this?” Chan smiles, he’s seen this guy on Jisung’s snap a lot lately, no clue who he is, but he has a bad feeling. Both him and Changbin think it’s a bad idea for Sungie to be messing around with anyone he needs to be by himself for a little.  _

_ “This is my, friend Minho. Min these are my friends from school, Chan hyung, Woojinnie Hyung And Changbin,” Jisung smiles.  _

_ Minho wipes his mouth too, a smile coming across his face. Meeting Sungie’s friends makes his heart speed up, he noticed how he said friend instead of boyfriend though. And that, that kind of hurt.  _

_ “You work at the studio don’t you?” Woojin asks. Recognizing the guy, Lee Minho, he’s known for breaking hearts and not caring. How the hell did he get Sungie out of the house?  _

_ “Sung can I talk to you?” Bin asks his eyes going to the bathroom.  _

_ Jisung groans, Minho and Woojin start talking, “I’ll be right back.” He says giving an apologetic look to the elder.  _

_ Chan and Changbin go into the bathroom with Jisung, his arms crossed over his chest.  _

_ “Sung, is it the best idea to be dating right now?” Bin asks.  _

_ “You’re with him like all the time.” Chan adds.  _

_ Jisung rolls his eyes, “we’re not dating, he’s just my friend. And I’m with him all the time because he’s nice, and he’s my  _ **_friend_ ** _.”  _

_ “He’s at your house all the time Sungie.”  _

_ “Yeah And? Just because someone’s at my house doesn’t mean we’re fucking.”  _

_ “We just want what’s best for you, and dating probably isn’t it.” Changbin sighs.  _

_ “We’re not dating, and even if we were who are you two to tell me I can’t?” Sungie snaps, eyes angry and filled with tears actually.  _

_ “We’re trying to protect you.” Chan takes his hand.  _

_ “I don’t need protecting, what I need is friends and you two are being shit at that right now.” Jisung pulls out of his grasp.  _

_ “And this, is ridiculous, you seriously could have texted me this instead of pulling me away from dinner to ask if I’m on a date.”  _

_ “We’re just trying to help.” Changbin groans.  _

_ “This isn’t helping, he’s going to think I’m fucking weird now because you two yanked me into the bathroom.”  _

_ “Why does that matter if you’re not on a date?”  _

_ “Fuck off guys, it matters because I want him to like me, we’re friends. Why can’t I have this one thing?” Jisung then leaves the bathroom, he’s so annoyed.  _

_ Min is laughing with Woojin and Changbin’s no name hook up for the night. Jisung sits back down and Minho can tell he’s upset.  _

_ “What’s wrong Sung?” Woojin asks, petting his hair.  _

_ “Tell your boyfriend to stop being nosy and to stop picking and choosing when he wants to give a fuck about me.” Jisung pushes his hand away.  _

_ “I’m sorry, you know he’s over protective now.”  _

_ “I don’t care hyung, he and Changbin are being annoying. I’m not going to break if I talk to someone that isn’t you three.”  _

_ Minho looks confused, “You okay?” He asks wanting to reach across for the younger.  _

_ “Yeah, my friends are just being stupid.”  _

_ “I’ll tell them to cut it out,” Woojin drops a kiss on Jisung’s head and smiles at Minho. Neither one of them see Changbin or Chan walk out.  _

_ “That was odd.” Min says after.  _

_ “They’re odd.” Jisung is grumpy now.  _

_ “They don’t like me?”  _

_ Sungie looks up and does take his hands now, “they don’t even know you Min, they’re just, over protective over me now. Like annoying older brothers.”  _

_ Minho takes another drink, humming softly, He then lifts his chopsticks back to Sungie’s mouth and feeds him another piece of meat.  _

_ “Why are they over protective?”  _

_ Jisung looks down a little, still holding Min’s other hand. “Because, I’ve had shitty boyfriends before.”  _

_ Minho hums, “they think I’m your boyfriend?” He whispers softly. Their eyes lock over the table, a blush coating both their faces.  _

_ “Do you think you are?”  _

_ Min shrugs, “I think we’re just us Sungie, whatever that is.”  _

_ Jisung looks down at their hands, his thumb rubbing against Minho’s knuckles. He likes him, a lot, more than like. He loves him, and that, scares him a lot. Loving boys doesn’t go well for him.  _

_ Once back at Min’s dorm Jisung is curled up in his bed already, not changed yet just waiting to Minho to come back from the bathroom. He’s on his phone, cuddled up with the elder’s blanket that he badly wants to steal.  _

_ Opening his snap he sees he has a bunch of messages, confused he checks his story and smiles seeing Minho took a really cute selfie and posted it. The next pictures is their dinner because the presentation was so pretty.  _

_ He sees a message from Kye and takes in a breaths.  _

**_‘Are you on a date????’_ ** _ He reads and rolls his eyes keeping him on read.  _

_ The next couple are random people asking who Min is, he ignores all of them.  _

_ The one and only walks back in his room with sweats on now, “I thought you were changing dummy.” Minho throws his clothes into his closet, Jisung sits up.  _

_ “I got distracted.” He pouts. Min walks over and stands between his legs, he pushes his grey hair behind his ears and kisses his forehead.  _

_ “You’re pretty.”  _

_ “Shush.” Sungie rolls his eyes, Minho hugs him tight then, nuzzling into his neck.  _

_ “What was that for?” Jisung falls back bringing the elder with him even though he himself is still in jeans and a sweater.  _

_ “Just like hugging you. Now change so we can watch movies.” Min hits his bum gently, the younger pushing his hand away eyes narrowed.  _

_ “Don’t look.”  _

_ “I’ve kissed all over your chest, I know what it looks like.” Minho teases.  _

_ “Min…” _

_ “Okay I won’t,” Minho goes on his own phone and checks his social medias. Waiting for Sungie to crawl back up his bed and lay on him.  _

_ “What’re we watching tonight?” He asks looking up for a second. He sees Jisung rub his arms before he pulls on his t-shirt. Sweatpants already hanging low on his thin hips.  _

_ “It’s your turn to pick.” Min looks away before he gets caught. Sungie takes his contacts out and puts on his glasses, turning the light off and locking the door. Minho moves back on his bed letting Jisung hop up onto his side of the small twin.  _

_ “Hmmm.” Min grabs his laptop, and a bag of snacks, Sungie opening it instantly.  _

_ “Did we finish the last one we watched?”  _

_ “I think so.” Jisung shifts to lay against his chest, the elder wrapping an arm around him.  _

_ “You’re cute.” Minho kisses the top of his head.  _

_ “This looks good,”  _

_ “You just want something that’ll make me cuddle you more.” Sungie teases, looking up at Min for a second.  _

_ “I might, you’ll never know will you.”  _

_ “You’re a nerd.”  _

_ He hits play and they both settle in, Minho playing with Jisung’s hair, Sungie sliding a hand up Min’s shirt rubbing his tummy. Their legs tangled together.  _

_ “I hate ones that are predictable.” Minho whines a little while later, Jisung now has both legs up over his laying on his side. The younger hums, nuzzling his neck for a second.  _

_ “I don’t know why you picked a ghost one, you know you don’t like them.”  _

_ “Wanted you to cuddle me.” _

_ “I cuddle with you either way babe.” Jisung laughs, the word just slips out of his mouth. Min giggles when Sungie hides in his neck after he realizes he said it.  _

_ “Call me babe for often.” Min whispers in his ear.  _

_ “Shush.” Jisung’s face is bright red, he cuddles closer though, leaning up timidly to kiss his cheek. Then he goes back to hiding for a while.  _

_ A particularly stupid jump scare gets them both and they nearly send the laptop flying, Minho giggling as they change positions now, rolling over to face the wall so the laptop is safe.  _

_ Minho wraps his arms around Jisung, his chin on his shoulder. Sungie tries not to wiggle too much since they pressed back to front now.  _

_ Jisung starts yawning, Min smiles as he sees his eyes have actually fluttered shut. The younger hums as Minho grabs the laptop and kisses his cheek.  _

_ “Hey,” Min whispers while rubbing his hip gently.  _

_ Sungie opens his eyes and rolls over to face him, “hi,” they stare at each other for a few seconds, Minho’s hand on the side of his face.  _

_ “You’re so pretty Sungie. I wish you could see it.”  _

_ Jisung scoots closer, his eyes shutting again, “thank you.” He whispers, Minho kisses his forehead gently.  _

_ “Go to sleep baby.”  _

_ “Hmm gonna, want kisses…” his voice his soft, Minho practically crumbles at his request. He leans in and kisses him softly, they’re short little pecks.  _

_ Sungie pouts still though, “want real ones.”  _

_ “Real ones?” Minho watches a very sleepy Jisung stick out his tongue. The elder isn’t sure what he’s requesting.  _ (Of course Minho now knows this was the first encounter he had with subspace Sungie.) 

_ He leans in again once his tongue is back in his mouth and kisses him soft and slow, still no tongue though. Jisung sighs against him, his arms trying to go around Min’s neck.  _

_ “Hey, What’s gotten into you?” Minho whispers pulling away, he has one of Jisung’s legs up over his hip.  _

_ The younger shrugs, “I like you.”  _

_ “Well that’s good,” Min giggles and presses his lips to his forehead. Jisung sticks his tongue out again, “I don’t know what that means baby.” The elder hums trying to figure out what the sleepy baby wants.  _

_ “Kisses please.” He whispers.  _

_ “You’re so cute.” Minho again kisses him soft and slow, being gentle, they haven’t made out since his freak out. And when they did it was hot, but now Min is a lot more precautions with Jisung. He’s not a quick fuck even though he keeps trying to tell himself he is.  _

_ Jisung whines against him, “What honey?” Min asks quietly, he doesn’t know what Sungie wants.  _

_ “Use your words.”  _

_ “Want you to really kiss me.”  _

_ Minho hums, he then rolls over on top of the younger, “like this baby?” He teases pressing a small kiss to his neck.  _

_ “No…” Sungie giggles sleepily.  _

_ “Hmm, this?” Min kisses under his ear, he again shakes his head. Minho smiles liking the game their playing.  _

_ “This way then?” He moves to kiss his forehead.  _

_ “No Lino…” Jisung giggles more, the name just slips past his lips. No one has even called him that before, but he wants to hear Sungie say or every day, every hour.  _

_ “I get it now.” Min whispers, he kisses him now, in the mouth slow ah first, but then he swipes his tongue along his lower lip and Jisung practically squeals. His tongue darting out to meet him in the middle.  _

_ Minho is pleasantly surprised, Sungie is never this forward. He laps at Min’s tongue, licking happily. It takes him a second to realize this is what Jisung wanted.  _

_ “Like that baby boy?”  _

_ “Yes.” Jisung pulls him back down, fingers in his hair now. Minho can’t help himself, he runs his hands down his sides and grabs his bum. Their kisses are sloppy and dirty, and lazy all in one.  _

_ Sungie starting to slowly rock his hips up, Min meeting him, grinding down now as he actually sucks Jisung’s tongue it his mouth. The moan he gets from him is pretty.  _

_ Minho pulls his other leg around his waist and continues his motion, kissing him, letting him lick inside his mouth.  _

_ “H-hyung…” Sungie whines his hands pulling at Min’s shirt, he wants it off, he wants him. All of him, right now.  _

_ “Easy baby, you’re sleepy, we shouldn’t do this right now.” Minho whispers, he doesn’t stop from pulling his shirt off though. Letting Sungie’s thin fingers trail along his body.  _

_ “Want you.” He whimpers, Min groans loud.  _

_ “Baby you can’t say stuff like that.” He murmurs kissing his neck now.  _

_ “Why, don’t you want me?” Jisung sounds like he’s crying now, Minho snaps his head up.  _

_ “Baby boy I do, I want you so badly honey. Just, not right now, when you’re sleepy like this. I know you’re not gonna want it tomorrow morning.” Min wipes his cheeks.  _

_ Every shithead that has ever hurt this fucking angel boy is on Minho’s hit list.  _

_ “I would.”  _

_ “Baby, you don’t like when I kiss you without asking.”  _

_ Jisung sniffles, rolling over suddenly to face the wall, “because no one has ever asked before…” he whispers curling into a ball.  _

_ “What baby? What do you mean no one has asked?” Minho wraps his arms around him, concern going through him.  _

_ “Nothing.”  _

_ “Jisung,” Min takes his face in his hands. He sees how Sungie flinches.  _

_ “Please stop touching me.” He whispers eyes squeezing shut. Minho removes himself, laying on his back trying to figure out what just happened.  _

_ Jisung drives him crazy, he can’t figure him out. Sometimes like this he really just wonders if he should quick while he’s ahead. Is this all worth it? He hates getting invested in people honestly. And jisung seriously seems like a basket case sometimes.  _

_ Especially right now.  _

_ “I’m sorry,” Jisung’s voice is quiet.  _

_ Min is mildly annoyed, “Do you like messing with me like that? I really don’t understand it.”  _

_ “Messing with you?”  _

_ “Yes Jisung messing with me, you, kiss me like that, and wanna have sex, and then you freak out.” Minho’s huffs needing to get it off his chest.  _

_ He feels Sungie moving, pushing the blankets off, he’s getting off his bed now too.  _

_ “I want to go home.” He says standing in the middle of the room, his arms wrapped around himself.  _

_ “What?” Min sits up turning on his lamp.  _

_ “I, want, to go home.” Jisung is looking down, his glasses now on, he’s shaking, too. Min swings his legs over the side of the bed.  _

_ “Come on Sung I didn’t mean it like that, it’s just, it makes me crazy.” Minho reaches out for him but Sungie backs away.  _

_ “Take me home, I don’t wanna be here anymore.” Jisung now is grabbing his sweater and backpack.  _

_ “You don’t have to go home Sungie I’ll sleep on the floor.” Minho gets up running a hand through his hair, now he’s really annoyed.  _

_ “This is why I only wanted to be friends.” Jisung whispers he slides down against the door head between his knees.  _

_ Minho watches it happen, he watches him fall apart, he just did that. Guilt hits him again, just like the first night he was mean to Sungie did. He’s a fucking idiot, could he not for once in his life self sabotage something good?  _

_ “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I know, I know you get panic attacks I shouldn’t have said that.” Minho sits down in front of him.  _

_ “I’m, I’m not j-just a thing. If y-you’re still hanging a-around me just so we c-can have sex-“ _

_ “I’m not Jisung, I care about you.”  _

_ Sungie trembles, crying hard now, Min doesn’t know how to deal with this. He’s not good with people crying, or with emotions. How did he get stuck with this?  _

_ “You get where I’m coming from don’t you? I try to just be friends, but then you’ll kiss me, and we’ll do  _ **_that_ ** _ but then you, do this. It’s confusing me,”  _

_ “I’m, actually comfortable around you…and that probably doesn’t mean much to you. But I, I haven’t had anyone, give a fuck a-about me in a very long time.”  _

_ “Your friends care about you.”  _

_ “My  _ **_friends_ ** _ give a fuck now, they give a fuck now because I tried-“ his voice cuts off with a sob.  _

_ “I used to be in a really, really bad relationship, that’s why I freak out. I never got a choice it was when he wanted, whenever. And if  _ **_I_ ** _ wanted anything he’d tell me no, he’d call me ugly and fat, I wasn’t good enough. I was the whore, I was the slut, not him.” His voice shakes with every word.  _

_ “I’m not messing with you, I’m, I’m trying my best here. I...I’m sorry.” Jisung hides his face more, curling into a ball. Minho stares, how the hell did Jisung go through a shitty ex like that already?  _

_ “You don’t have to be sorry, I’m an asshole.” Minho lays on the floor. Why’s he such a fuck up?  _

_ “I hate that I freak out, I hate that I have panic attacks and anxiety attacks.”  _

_ “It’s okay Sungie.” Min rubs his eyes.  _

_ “If you just want to fuck me then I can’t do this.” Jisung then says softly, Minho stills, trying to figure out his next words carefully.  _

_ “I, I wanted you tonight because I like you a lot, and that terrifies me.”  _

_ “I like you a lot too.” Min hears himself say.  _

_ “I got mad, because you said that you wanted me and when I told you no you were acting like I did something wrong. You’re tired, and I know you want to go slow and I do too, so I said no, I figured you’d understand.”  _

_ “I freaked out because you grabbed my face and made me look at you.” Jisung wants to push him over.  _

_ “I grabbed your face because you said no one ever asks that’s an alarming thing to say.” Min snaps.  _

_ “You said how I wouldn’t want it because I don’t even let you kiss me without asking. I’m not drunk, I’m not high, I’m not impaired, I wanted it. Just because I’m sleepy doesn’t make me incompetent. If I didn’t want it I wouldn’t have kissed you like that to begin with.”  _

_ “But Why Would you freak out when I said no!? I told you I want to take things slow. And fucking tonight would have been the opposite of that. You keep saying if I just want to fuck You you can’t do this. Well I haven’t tried yet you’re the one that keeps getting all riled up.”  _

_ Jisung hides his face again, he’s the slut again, he’s the needy one again.  _

_ “I’m sorry, I won’t anymore.” He whispers biting his lower lip. “I’ll ask permission.” His voice is quiet hands picking at his sweatpants.  _

_ Minho groans loud, “that’s not what I’m saying. You want me to do what you want, you have to listen to me too. You wanna go slow okay good me too, but then don’t go and grind on my dick and cry when I saw no.” His words are a little too harsh.  _

_ Jisung holds in a whimper, “I didn’t mean to.”  _

_ “How do you not mean to grind on my dick?”  _

_ “Because you actually make me feel good Minho! You don’t make me feel like I’m a fucking waste of space! You tell me I’m pretty even though I’m fucking disgusting to look at. You hold my hand even though it’s embarrassing to be with me. You make me feel like I’m worth something when I’m not. You, Who I barely met two months ago have given more of a shit about me and my well being than my friends have in years. You make me actually want to be with someone. Yeah I wanna go slow and I know you do too, but you have made me feel more in the last two months than I have in years.” His voice breaks, tears coming all over again.  _

_ Minho stares, he doesn’t know what to say, slowly he crawls over to him, “I’m gonna touch you.” He whispers right before he lifts his chin.  _

_ He presses their lips together softly. Taking his hands carefully.  _

_ “You are not disgusting, and you are not embarrassing to be with. You are so worthy Sungie, so fucking beautiful too. You make me wanna be with someone too, and I have never wanted that. I’m sorry I got mad, I just, tend to self destruct when I, when I get close to anyone. These last two months Sungie, you make me feel wanted for more than my body. You tease me and make me laugh, you let me be the little spoon and you make my heart speed up in a way it never has before. You get me more than anyone else does, Sungie the first time you kissed me, I felt like it was my first kiss again. You make me feel like I can be my complete self around you no questions asked. I have never wanted to cuddle anyone, but you Sungie. I want you to hold me all day and night.” Minho wipes his own eyes, Jisung moves and hugs him tight, arms wrapping around him tightly.  _

_ “Do you still wanna go home?” Min whispers his face currently pushed into Sungie’s neck.  _

_ “No,” the younger wraps himself around him, Minho picks him up and they climb back into bed. They kiss for several minutes, soft gentle kisses that make Minho’s heart race more. Sungie holds him to his chest after, lips pressing to his shoulder.  _

_ “Good night baby.” Minho kissing his knuckles, Jisung scoots closer, nuzzling into him.  _

_ “Goodnight.”  _

_ * _

“Why don’t you go shower now?” Minho asks Sungie, the younger laying on top of him, Chan just left. 

Jisung crawled on top of his boyfriend the moment the door closed shimming out of his sweatpants so his lower half is bare again. 

“Hmmm don’t wanna.” He mumbles, he’s fit snugly between Minho’s hips hands under his shirt. 

“You haven’t since before last night you nasty man.” Min kisses his hair and then swings his legs over the couch, picking Jisung up with ease. 

“Hey! Put me down.” 

“You have to shower because we have plans tonight hot stuff.” Minho sets him on the bathroom counter and pulls his sweater over his head. 

He gapes a little, bit realizing how much he actually bit Sungie last night. He has actual teeth marks all over his neck and chest. 

“What?”

“Nothing, I just really wanted to eat you last night i think.” 

Jisung giggles at his words and pouts his lips, Minho kisses him quick and then starts the shower. 

“I wanna take a bath.” 

“You didn’t even wanna bathe a second ago,” 

“Will you with me?” 

“We have things to pack for.” Min presses a kiss to his forehead. Jisung pouts, his arms reaching out to get picked up again. 

“You’re such a baby,” Minho teases, he picks him up and puts him in the shower. Sungie trying to drag him in. 

“Brat.” Min mutters while taking his shirt and pants off so he can step inside with his bratty little boyfriend. 

“You love me.” The younger giggles and pulls him down to kiss him, it’s about a moderately sexual kiss. Jisung kind of gripping onto Min, pushing their hips together. 

“Hey!” Minho shrieks when Jisung grabs his ass a cheeky grin on his face. 

“You’re asking to get beat.” Sungie just wiggles his ass back on him now facing the wall. Min rolls his eyes at his antics, sometimes is really blows his mind how much Sungie has changed in the three years they’ve dated and just known each other. 

The Jisung He first met, he would have never done any of this, Minho was so afraid to touch him all the time too. 

“What’re you thinking about babe?” Sungie’s arms wrap around his neck again, only now he’s massaging shampoo into Min’s wet hair. 

“You,” 

“Well I hope it’s good things.” 

“It is.” Minho laughs and pecks his lips, “I was thinking about how much you’ve changed baby. How much stronger you are now.” 

Sungie blushes, “I feel like after we got into like worse fight we’ve ever had to this day, we both started changing.” 

“I was such a dickhead.” Minho groans, thinking about the things he said to Sungie that night in his room, the things he  _ thought  _ about Sungie. 

“You were but I still love you.” 

Minho hugs him tight then, Sungie giggling against him a little. “I love you too.” 

Min looks down at his boyfriend and takes his face in his hands, pressing their lips together softly, slowly, the way he used to always kiss Jisung. Sungie hums against him and tilts his head, standing on his tippy toes. 

“You okay baby?” He asks while kissing Min’s nose, looking in his eyes. Minho nods and kisses him again, jisung smiles into it, his arms curling around his neck tightly. 

“How fancy are we getting tonight babe?” 

“How fancy you wanna be?” Min kisses his forehead. 

“Hmm, i'd like to see you in some tight ass pants again so we can go fancy.” Minho hums and runs his fingers through Sungie’s soapy hair, washing it all out for him. 

“You buying? Since I got the hotel for the weekend?” 

Jisung laughs, “yeah I’m buying thotty, you can even pick where we go.” 

“Wow a true gentleman.” 

“I try my best.” 

“You know what?” 

“What?” Jisung wraps his arms around him tight, jumping a bit, Minho giggles and catches him picking him and wanting to twirl him, but they’re in the shower. And that would be very dangerous. 

“You know that white shirt you just bought?”

“The long one?” 

“Hmm,” 

“What about it?” Sungie kisses along his neck, hands trailing down his body. 

“I want you in that. With the new jacket I bought you.” Min tilts his face, their lips meeting. 

“Ooo that is fancy.” Jisung hugs him tight. 

“Certainly is.” 

*

_ Jisung stares up at the stage his lower lip between his teeth, he’s currently sat in Kye’s lap his arms tightly around his waist. He’s so nervous tonight is the first time he actually gets to go on stage. The guys keep telling him he’s gonna be great, he’s practiced so much.  _

_ But he’s still so nervous. Kye right now is rubbing his sides, chin on his shoulder.  _

_ “You’ve managed to work yourself up so much you’re shaking Ji, settle down.” He mutters in his ear. They’re waiting for Dohun, and their other friends to come from backstage still.  _

_ “I’m just nervous,” Jisung turns to face him a little bit, people no longer look strangely at them when they see him in one of the upper class men's laps. It’s just common knowledge now that the boys of have taken him under their wing.  _

_ “You don’t have anything to be nervous about, you and the others are gonna do great.” Before he can even answer arms are grabbing him around the waist.  _

_ “What’re you doing looking pretty in his lap?” Dohun asks while sitting on the edge of the stage with Ji in his lap. The younger instantly nuzzles into him, loving the fact he’s holding him, his bum pressing on his thighs.  _

_ “Waiting for you.” He giggles cheeks a little red. Dohun slides a hand between his thin thighs cupping the inner part.  _

_ “You ready for tonight Jiji?” Minji asks from the side, taking his spot in Kye’s lap.  _

_ “Hmm, I’m, nervous.” He says softly, Dohun squeezes him tighter.  _

_ “You’ve worked hard enough, you’ll be fine.” He makes the youngers thighs spread a little more. Jisung squeaks softly, his arms wrap around his neck pulling himself closer slightly.  _

_ “I have rehearsals soon so I gotta get ready.” He hops out of his lap then, seeing Changbin walk in. Dohun grabs his hands before he can walk away completely.  _

_ He’s been more touchy with Ji lately, he’s loving it, wants even more of it.  _

_ “Whatcha wearing tonight hot stuff?” The elder follows Jisung their fingers connected loosely. None of the others say anything as the two walk away. Dohun glances at Bin seeing the younger.  _

_ “I haven’t decided yet.” Jisung shrugs he walks backstage to where the baby dressing rooms are. As the other guys call them that.  _

_ As he goes through the door Dohun’s grip tightens, “Hey come here.” The older boy pulls him closer, Jisung inhales softly, his front pressing into his.  _

_ “Doooo,” he whines softly, the blonde lifts his chin, one hand in his belt loops the other in his hair.  _

_ “Kiss me,” He whispers, Jisung blushes deeply, eyes going down to his feet. Dohun has been asking for this request a lot lately, Ji will never follow through though, too nervous to.  _

_ “No?” Dohun lifts his chin, his lips press to the corner of his mouth, a small gasp leaving the younger.  _

_ “Sungie you ready for ton-“ Changbin cuts himself off, seeing his friend getting felt up by the upper class man.  _

_ “Oh um, yeah.” Jisung pulls away from Dohun, his face bright red, he stares at the ground. Dohun rolls his eyes and leaves the room without saying a word. Bin eyes the younger boy, shaking his head slightly.  _

_ “So you’re like dating him now?” He asks, Jisung groans, “no, it’s not like that,” he falls back in a chair, rubbing his face. He wishes they were dating, wishes he had the balls to actually kiss Dohun.  _

_ “Just be careful Sungie,” Bin comes over and cuddles up against him, Jisung moves so he’s now laying on the elders chest, holding his hand.  _

_ “I am,”  _

_ “You smell like weed.”  _

_ “It’s from them I promise, I wouldn’t smoke before my first showcase I’m not an idiot.” Jisung mumbles, Chan comes in and whines at the sight of his two best friends cuddling without him.  _

_ “Why didn’t you invite me?” He pouts, his hair a black curly mess at the moment.  _

_ “This wasn’t planned.” Jisung stands up and starts thumbing through all the options of clothes.  _

_ “You couldn’t have showered? You kinda reek.” Chan complains instantly smelling the drug in the room.  _

_ “It’s just my clothes not me.”  _

_ “If that gets on mine my mom will kill me.” Bin pushes him away before he can try and hug him again.  _

_ Jisung bites his lower lip, it’s just the smell, he didn’t smoke, he doesn’t understand why they’re being mean to him. Chan catches the wobble in his lip and instantly is hugging his friend.  _

_ “Let’s just change now?” He hugs him tight, he doesn’t like how Sungie has smelled strongly of weed since the beginning of the summer now, but he’s gotten used to it at this point. He also knows Jisung is doing all this because he has a crush on Dohun.  _

_ Bin more often than not pushes him away because he say he’s changed and he doesn’t like it. Chan isn’t a fan really either, but he’s still his best friend.  _

_ “Okay,” Jisung murmurs, they all then change, doing their makeup, spraying cologne. Teachers walking in and out, the physical therapist too checking on them the whole time.  _

_ * _

_ The show itself goes incredibly well, way better than any of them expected.  _

_ The older boys feel so proud when they see Ji out on stage. They’re also all insanely surprised and shocked to see his personality change quickly.  _

_ On stage he’s incredibly confident, and he looks really hot rather than cute. The other members too, although they’re only concerned with their baby. He is rapping and singing and that shocks them too.  _

_ They can tell early on that their little group is going to be a hit with the school.  _

_ Ji hits high notes and dances perfectly, it’s very strange for them to see him actually on stage. Last year he always was in the crowd watching them, with wide eyes.  _

_ The next song hits and it’s intense. Chan opens it and Dohun feels himself shake his head, he doesn’t like him. He touches Ji too much.  _

_ Ji is even more confident in this one, and their dancing a bit more provocative. Dohun hums seeing his baby go down and do floor work and bites his lower lip. He’s tried to get him to kiss him several times in the past week, but he’s too timid and nervous. It’s really cute honestly.  _

_ Their last song starts and Jisung starts with a screech. It makes all of them look at each other, not expecting the sound.  _

_ The whole thing is intense again, and Ji comes to the end with Chan, the younger having this insane swagger about him that none of them have seen before. He makes moans and whines after his raps and between his words that making Dohun head spin a little.  _

_ “Who taught him that shit?” Kye laughs.  _

_ This seems to be their last song, everything is perfect.  _

_ But then the lights cut and all of them are laying on the floor with their uniforms half on half off. Jisung’s hair is messy, he sits up being the starter of this song.  _

_ The look is doing wonders for Dohun at the moment. The whole song is cute and there’s a lot of dancing in it.  _

_ Once it’s over Jisung is beaming, the three of them wrapping around each other happily. Chan has his arms around Ji, the two of them hugging tightly. Dohun feels a wave of jealousy going through him.  _

_ They bow and all three leave the stage, a little while later emerging all still clinging to each other. Ji has his arm around Chan’s shoulders, their parents all come up to them too.  _

_ Jisung lets go of Chan and stares down at his feet, his parents aren’t here. However he looks up and sees the other guys smiling at him. In a second he’s running over to them, he somehow ends up in Kye’s arms first. The older boy hugging him tight telling him how good he did. He blushes hiding his face in his neck.  _

_ “You need a shower now Ji,” he teases while running his fingers through his sweaty hair.  _

_ Minji gets hold of him next, hugging him close, the youngest of them sighs happily. Loving the attention and affection from all of them.  _

_ Dohun gets a hold of him last, “who taught you how to make sounds like that Jiji?” He wraps his arms tightly around the younger boy, “or how to move like that?” He adds while kissing his cheek.  _

_ “Myself I guess,” Jisung shrugs, he nuzzles into Dohun, heart still racing. His on stage theatrics still kicked on too.  _

_ “I think we should go back home and celebrate.” The elder smirks, he slides a hand into Jisung’s hair, kissing his forehead now. The younger nods, the idea of celebrating with them after his showcase makes his heart go even faster.  _

_ He doesn’t get to say goodbye to the others, just shoots Chan a text as he’s swept out through the doors and into Dohun’s car. He’s squished in the back with Kye.  _

_ Kye lovingly talks to him, and touches him, his hands in his hair every now and then. Jisung loves it, he cuddles against the elder the whole way back to Kye’s house.  _

_ “You’re so cute.” Kye murmurs while petting Ji at one point. Dohun glares at him in the mirror. The drive isn’t far and the second they get in the house bottles are being busted out.  _

_ It’s hours later and Jisung is high as a kite, giggling while sitting in Dohun’s lap. He also has a beer in his hand his fourth one. They’re all having fun, teasing each other, Dohun keeps pulling the younger against him slightly.  _

_ “You gonna stay the night with me Ji?” He whispers in his ear at one point. Jisung nods cheeks red, he feels himself standing suddenly his head a little fuzzy.  _

_ Dohun has his hand in his, guiding him upstairs. Jisung hums unsure about what’s going on, he doesn’t mind it though. The older boy opens the spare bedroom door and lets Jisung in.  _

_ “You’re making me go to bed already?” Ji whines, Dohun hums and approaches him slowly, “I have a better idea than sleeping.”  _

_ The dark haired teen looks at him in wonder, his eyes bloodshot and hair messy. “What’s that?” He asks his head cocked to the side.  _

_ “God you really make me want to wreck you Ji,” the blonde groans and leans forward his mouth captures the smaller boy’s lips with ease.  _

_ Jisung almost shrieks eyes flying open, even in his hardly functioning state he realizes Dohun is kissing him.  _

_ The blonde grips his waist, pinning him against the door. Jisung’s eyes flutter shut now, his mind racing but can’t keep up. Before he can stop himself he’s moaning quietly, arms going around his neck.  _

_ “Oh yeah baby?” Dohun smirks, his tongue now pushes past his lips, Ji whines into it, everything being so much for him to handle. It all feels so good, fuck he hopes he remembers it in the morning.  _

_ “Use that dirty tongue of yours. You couldn’t keep it in your mouth earlier.” Dohun whispers, he slides a hand down his waist and grabs his ass, satisfied with the sound he gets out of the younger.  _

_ Jisung does as he’s told or tries to, he licks at his lower lip timidly. Then slides it against the others, another little whine coming from him as he does. He likes this he decided quickly, he likes licking.  _

_ Dohun smirks, he lifts the brown haired boy up and starts kissing down his neck, biting down to mark him up. He needs the marks so others won’t touch him.  _

_ “Wonder what else that tongue of yours can do.” He bites again making the younger whimper, his hips pushing forward already. His hand trails down his stomach and he grabs Jisung’s cock through his tight jeans. The younger moans louder now, his head falling back further.  _

_ “You’re gonna use this dirty mouth to suck my cock okay baby?” Dohun pulls away and backs them up onto the bed. Jisung nods, his mind racing, heart feeling like it’s about to come from his chest. Suck dick? That was his first kiss! How’s he’s supposed to suck dick when he can barely form a coherent thought?  _

_ The older boy hums while sitting down, he makes Jisung go to his knees.  _

_ “How bad do you want it?” He whispers fingers under his chin. Jisung whimpers his face bright red, he wants to hide.  _

_ “Hmm Ji, don’t be shy, I know you’ve wanted my dick for a while now angel. Just tell me how badly you want it,” he leans forward and kisses him intensely again, pulling his hair and sucking his neck once more.  _

_ Jisung bucks his own hips into nothing, “I, I want it…” he blushes deeply, thinking hard to find his words. “I wanna make you feel good.” He whispers face even brighter.  _

_ “What do you say?” Dohun rubs himself through his jeans, the sight in front of him almost too much.  _

_ “Please?” Ji looks up at him with his big brown eyes. That’s the only word he can think of that would matter at the moment.  _

_ “I guess you deserve it, next time I wanna hear you beg more.” Dohun undoes his jeans, Jisung bites his lip keeping in any noise, his eyes trained on his crotch now.  _

_ “God look at how ready you are for me,” The older boy pulls himself from his boxers and strokes his member a few times.  _

_ “I n-never have,” Jisung warms quickly, the fact he’s high making him a little paranoid. That also probably making everything seem so slow too.  _

_ “You better not have, I better be your first for everything.” Dohun growls angry for a second.  _

_ “You are, I want you to be my first please hyung.” The younger says quickly. He never wants Dohun to think he’s had anyone else. He just wants to make him feel good, for him to get that he loves him.  _

_ “Say Please again,”  _

_ “Please, I want it so bad.” Jisung moans, his own words working himself up. He doesn’t know where the second half of that sentence came from but it just spilled from his mouth like nothing.  _

_ “Use your hand on what you can’t fit in your mouth. Go slow, and don’t use your teeth.” Dohun whispers, he presses his tip to his lips, Jisung squeezes his legs together feeling himself get so fucking hard.  _

_ Surprisingly the younger sticks his tongue out and licks his tip, it takes Dohun by surprise. He laps at the head, tongue pressing into his slit.  _

_ Dohun sees how he’s licking and instantly gets the sense this isn’t his first time. He grabs a handful of his hair and pulls him away, Jisung’s eyes get wide.  _

_ “Am I your first time yes or no?” He growls.  _

_ “You’ve sucked Chan’s cock haven’t you? Let him fuck your throat like a slut?”  _

_ Jisung shakes his head no, “no, no I haven’t, you're my first hyung I promise.” He whimpers hair hair getting pulled harder. His world starts to spin, what is happening?  _

_ “Do you want his cock too? You’re always sitting in his lap, do you want him shoved inside you?” Dohun pushes his tip to his lips again, Jisung latches on, lips wrapping around his head, tongue pushing into his slit again.  _

_ He honestly has just watched a lot of porn, the amount of times his fingers have been shoved inside himself this past month are way too many.  _

_ His teeth catch a little and Dohun pulls him off, believing this is his first time now, his teeth scrape and that’s a dead give away.  _

_ “Answer me,” He yanks his hair again. Jisung whines, “no hyung, I only want yours, I want you inside me please.”  _

_ Dohun smirks, “of course you do baby, you’re little ass is always trying to feel me when you’re in my lap.” Jisung opens his mouth now, “show me how hyung, please,” He whispers the drugs really kicking in. He doesn’t think he can do this anymore. Everything is so intense.  _

_ The elder groans and guides his head now, one hand on his cock the other in the back of his brown hair. He hums softly, rolling his hips forward a little, Jisung moans around him. He eagerly takes more in his mouth, trying to fit as much as possible.  _

_ His eyes water, Dohun moves his hand from his hair to his jaw, “relax this,” He mumbles pressing slightly. He does as he’s told and his jaw falls open, his ability to take more in happening.  _

_ Jisung can’t help himself as he rubs his palm slowly against his own crotch, giving Dohun head turns him on so much. He isn’t sure if he’s ever gotten this hard, even that one time last week he finally pushed his fingers deep enough to find his prostate and came instantly.  _

_ “Let’s see how bad your gag reflex is.” Dohun mutters he bucks his hips on purpose and Jisung pulls back, tears spilling from his eyes. His lips swollen, he coughs a little not expecting something to touch his throat so fast.  _

_ It wasn’t a gag persay, more so a shock.  _

_ “Hmm, does my baby not have one?” Dohun smirks and guides him again, pushing him down further, soon Jisung is nuzzles into his pelvis, whimpering softly. He can’t breathe and his throat hurts but he loves it. But his vision is also mildly foggy and that scares him too.  _

_ “Fuck yeah take all of it,” he moans tossing his head back. Jisung pulls off gasping for breath, his hand replaces his mouth for a second, stroking him quickly. Dohun hums enjoying this too, however he catches him also rubbing himself down.  _

_ Instantly he grabs his other hand, “did I say you could touch yourself? Don’t be a slut Ji,” he growls while gripping his wrist.  _

_ “Hyung…” the younger pouts his lower lip, his other hand speeds up catching Dohun by surprise, he suddenly bucks up, stomach coiling.  _

_ “We’ll deal with your bad behavior later, right now you suck me dry.” He tips his head back and pushes his mouth back on him.  _

_ Sooner rather than later he’s cumming down his throat, telling him to swallow all of it. Which he does, his own cock leaking through his jeans now.  _

_ Dohun recovers and grabs the younger up in his lap, kissing him hard, his hands going to his belt.  _

_ “You wanna cum baby?” He asks while pinching his nipples through his shirt.  _

_ “Yes, wanna so bad.” Jisung whispers against his lips. His back arches slightly and hips roll forward. He’s too intoxicated to be embarrassed about anything right now.  _

_ “You think you deserve it after touching yourself without permission? I don’t think slutty boys deserve it.” Jisung whimpers at his words, “I won’t do it again, I promise, please, it hurts.” He cries hands pulling at Dohun’s hair.  _

_ “Sucking me got you that horny? Fuck you really are my little slut aren’t you?”  _

_ “All yours,” Jisung rolls his hips, his words kind of sting but that’s okay. Dohun smirks, letting the younger rut himself against his thigh. Ji drops his head into his neck, whimpering and whining as he grinds himself into him, chasing release.  _

_ “You gonna cum baby? In your jeans? I don’t even have to touch you?” Dohun taunts, he honestly really wants to get a hold of his cock though so he starts slowing his hips, undoing his jeans.  _

_ His hand slides down into his jeans finding his has tight briefs on, the whole front of them wet with precum. “So wet for me baby,” he hums.  _

_ Ji bucks his hips forward, arms curled around his neck, “don’t be greedy.” Dohun’s voice is stern.  _

_ “Please,” he cries hiding his face in his shoulder.  _

_ “You think about me when you get off?”  _

_ “Yes,” Jisung moans, Dohun pulls him from his briefs, he looks down and bites his lower lip. Ji’s cock is pretty blushing bright red at the tip, leaking everywhere. He’s also far bigger than he expected, he honestly thought Ji was gonna be little.  _

_ Because the rest of him is so tiny and if he actually was little he could use that against him.  _

_ “You scream my name when you cum?” He strokes him slowly, thumb pressing to his slit.  _

_ “Yes, especially when I…” He trails off, a moan coming past his lips instead of words. Dohun stops his movements, “use your words.”  _

_ Jisung cries again, hips bucking, “when I finger myself.” He hides his face again, Dohun smirks, the thought of Ji fingering himself thinking of him makes his mind go wild.  _

_ “You dirty little boy,” The elder continues his movements now, letting Jisung buck and whine, soon he’s coming, teeth biting down on the elders shoulder.  _

_ When he comes down from his high he’s shaking slightly, face in his neck. Dohun picks him up setting him in the bed. He cleans himself up and tucks Jisung back into his jeans.  _

_ “Now it’s bed time.” He says to him sternly. Ji pouts doing grabby hands at him, “we can cuddle later, I’m gonna go back downstairs with the guys for a little bit.” Dohun says while running a hand through his dark hair.  _

_ Jisung juts out his lower lip, “Hey, no pouting, you just got to cum I don’t want to see any pouts.”  _

_ The younger sucks his lip back in and curls into a ball, he feels good but sad that Dohun won’t cuddle him now. The elder leaves the room closing the door, he walks back downstairs proudly.  _

_ “What the fuck are you doing down here?” Kye asks seeing him.  _

_ “Coming to finish my blunt?” Dohun grabs his left over joint from where he left it. The younger stares at him, “you just fucked him and left him dude?”  _

_ “I didn’t fuck him, he’s fine, he’s tired.” The blonde rolls his eyes.  _

_ “Dude he’s a virgin, even if you didn’t fuck that’s one of his firsts don’t just leave him.” Kye stands up, concerned about Ji.  _

_ “You go check on him, you know how he’s clingy, I can’t do the clingy part.” Dohun lights up again, Kye shakes his head and goes upstairs. He finds Jisung curled into a ball, tears on his cheeks.  _

_ “Jiji, you okay baby?” Instantly he pulls his sweater off and crawls up to the bed. Jisung is his baby too, and if it was up to him he’d treat him like a prince.  _

_ The younger just hums, Kye sees his jeans are a little wet, his hair is messy and he has cum on his shirt.  _

_ “Baby come here.” He helps Ji sit up, the younger opens his eyes, they’re bloodshot.  _

_ “Hey you in there?” He asks softly.  _

_ Jisung giggles, “Yeah, just feel good.”  _

_ “Let’s get these dirty clothes off you baby,” Kye pulls his shirt off and tosses it to the side, he covers him up with the sweater he’d been wearing. Jisung smiles happily.  _

_ Kye then moves to his damp jeans and briefs. They’re tight in all the right places and look extremely cute on his little bum.  _

_ “Hey!” The younger giggles again, “don’t worry I’m not gonna touch you.”  _

_ Ji hums, he shudders as Kye removes his briefs too averting his eyes best he can. But honestly he wants to look, badly.  _

_ He grabs a spare pair of shorts from the dresser and slides them up his skinny legs.  _

_ “Kye will you cuddle with me till Do comes back?” Jisung asks softly, his eyes slightly closed.  _

_ “Of course baby, let me put some sweatpants on.” The elder gets off the bed and quickly changes too he turns the light off as well, then he’s crawling up again and wrapping jisung in his arms.  _

_ “Was He gentle?” Kye asks quietly. Jisung rolls over and cuddles into his chest, “not really.” He mumbles.  _

_ “That’s okay though, I liked it.” He blushes deeply, hiding his face more.  _

_ “You tell him if it’s too much okay?”  _

_ “Okay,” Jisung looks up, he loves Kye a lot, just like he loves Dohun.  _

_ The elder glances down in the dark room, “go to sleep Jiji,” he murmurs feeling his eyes on him. Without another word Jisung leans up and kisses him, it’s soft and just barely their lips pressing.  _

_ Kye’s eyes get wide, he kisses him back though because he’s always wanted to. Ji is his baby just as much as he’s Dohun’s, and he’ll honestly treat him way better.  _

_ “What was that for?”  _

_ “I just love you a whole lot.” Jisung smiles and kisses him again, Kye groans softly, hands going to either side of his face. He rolls on top of the smaller boy the kiss deepening.  _

_ “I love you too Jiji.” Jisung gasps softly he feels his legs get brought up to the elders waist.  _

_ “Is Do gonna get mad that we’re kissing?” He whispers cheeks red, he likes kissing Kye, his fingers in his hair. He knows he shouldn’t but he’s so drunk, so impaired he feels like he’s flying. Nothing even feels real right now. He’s trying to decide if this is a dream.  _

_ “If he’s gonna get mad he can get mad at me, he should be the one cuddling you right now.” Kye bites down on his lower lip softly, Ji lets out a soft whine.  _

_ “I like kisses,” He giggles, “you’re fucking gone baby,” Kye laughs, he kisses him again, a little harder this time. Their tongues slide together, the elder hums as he rolls their hips together slowly.  _

_ Ji sighs into it, one of his legs curling around his hip. “Is this okay baby?”  _

_ “Yeah, I want more please.” Jisung blushes deeply, his lower lip between his teeth.  _

_ “More?” Kye moves and kisses his jaw, down his neck, to his collar bones, he pulls the sweater down and sucks softly, seeing the bite marks Dohun’s left. He moves further down his body, now pushing the sweater up.  _

_ Jisung’s heart is racing again, Dohun barely touched him Kye already is kissing him more and touching him in other places more. This has to be a dream.  _

_ The elder moves and kisses his chest, his lips wrap around his nipple, Ji moans softly. “Gotta be quiet baby,” He murmurs against his skin. He pinches the other side, sucking harshly now.  _

_ “Kye,” he moans again, eyes fluttering shut. This is a dream, no way it’s real.  _

_ He curls his arms around his neck and his back arches slightly. Kye pulls back kissing further down his chest, “Ji,” He whispers pulling away, his eyes looking in his.  _

_ Jisung blushes deeply sort of realizing what he’s doing, the possibility this might not be a dream. He just did stuff with Dohun and now he’s doing more with Kye. A part of him feels bad, but he wants them both.  _

_ “We shouldn’t be doing this baby, you’re drunk, and you’re high.” Kye kisses his lips gently now, pulling his shirt back down. He rolls off the younger and pulls him to his chest, Jisung pouts.  _

_ “You don’t, want me?” He asks softly.  _

_ “No it’s not that baby, I do,” Kye kisses his forehead now, holding him tightly.  _

_ “Did I do something wrong?”  _

_ “No, I just want you to actually know what you’re doing Ji,” Jisung nuzzles into him more, pressing a small kiss to his neck.  _

_ “Go to sleep baby boy.” Kye whispers he plays with his hair and rubs his back. Jisung hums softly and curls up his hands caught in his shirt.  _

_ The older boy loves when he gets Ji like this, sleepy and cuddly. Unlike Dohun, he loves when Jisung is clingy. Sometimes the younger just wants to be held, or to be holding hands, and he’s not just like that with them. He’s like this with all his friends. It pisses Dohun off the most.  _

_ Hours pass and they’re both knocked out. Jisung now completely wrapped around Kye, his little body curled into the larger. The elder holds him close, face buried in his hair one hand caught between his thighs the other a pillow for Jisung.  _

_ Dohun comes in eventually, drunk as fuck, his jaw set when he see Kye holding his baby in such a way. He told him to check on him not sleep with him.  _

_ He stumbles to the bed and grabs Jisung making the younger boy shriek loud, his eyes flying open. Kye jumps awake pulling Ji back into his arms.  _

_ “Dude What the fuck!?” He growls he holds Jisung to his chest, the younger shaking and crying Because he was scared so badly.  _

_ “You’re okay Jiji,” he rubs his back trying to calm him down.  _

_ “Did you two have sex?” The eldest hisses.  _

_ “No idiot, we were sleeping clearly, now go away you scared the shit out of Ji.”  _

_ Dohun lays down in the bed however ignoring his words, “come here baby,” he’s talking to Jisung.  _

_ The younger shakes his head no, still shaking from how scared he was. Kye gets between the two of them, laying back down Jisung curls back up into his chest, stuffing his face in his neck. Dohun sits up on his side watching the two, Ji is falling back to sleep quickly.  _

_ “What the fuck,” The blonde snaps mumbles.  _

_ “You shouldn’t have left him idiot.” Kye hisses back. _

_ “Yeah well he was tired and I wasn’t.”  _

_ “Do not torture him either, don’t do what you do with the others.”  _

_ Dohun rolls his eyes, “you’re just jealous,”  _

_ “I’m not actually, since he’s laying with me, and he’s with me and not you right now.”  _

_ “He sucked my dick.”  _

_ “He kissed me.” Dohun nearly growls at his words.  _

_ “No he didn’t.”  _

_ “Yeah he did, and the fact he did should tell you that you need to treat him better.” Kye glares back at the older boy.  _

_ “I’m not treating him badly, and honestly I’m kinda pissed he kissed you and you let him.”  _

_ “He’s not your boyfriend, don’t act like you’d actually ask him to be either.”  _

_ “Just because I won’t ask him out doesn’t mean he’s not mine. You know that, keep your dick away from him.”  _

_ Jisung mumbles in his sleep, nuzzling into Kye’s neck more. His arms wrapped around him, he lets out a small sigh as he falls into a deeper sleep.  _

_ “Instead is claiming him you should let him pick.”  _

_ * _

_ Needless to say that didn’t go well, Jisung woke up the next morning with a killer hangover and Dohun was pissed at him. He remembered everything clearly, and was super embarrassed about the things he whispered to Kye while highly incapacitated.  _

_ Dohun didn’t let him sit in the other boys lap anymore, or even let them be alone at any point. Ji loved all the attention from Dohun honestly, he knew he loved him way before they started having sex.  _

_ But the older boy slowly got more and more possessive of him. Jisung barely hung out with Chan or Bin, he wasn’t allowed to. Changbin didn’t want anything to do with him anyway.  _

_ At the time Ji thought it was all fine, that he deserved being punished and tormented because he was a bad boy all the time. He constantly misbehave so in his head he needed to be kept in check.  _

_ That was until his mom found up everything he’d been up to.  _

_ * _

_ Jisung rolls to his side, his back aching already, but his head is in worse shape. He reaches out hoping maybe Dohun stayed the night, he finds his bed empty and sighs heavily. He should be used to it.  _

_ Slowly sitting up he rubs his eyes, his head is killing, and he honestly could go back to sleep right now. But he needs to shower, he probably smells and he’s cover in his own and Dohun’s cum from last night. Memories start popping up left and right and he blushes hiding his face in his hands.  _

_ His back hurts, more than just the sex sting. The shove he received when Dohun first came over, they argued. Jisung didn’t wanna have sex, he just wanted to hang out for once. But the blonde didn’t like that. So he pushed him into the counter. Could have been worse, a lot worse.  _

_ His legs shake as he tries to stand, his grinder and wrappers left out on his night stand. Around his room are several bottles too, Jesus he needs to clean.  _

_ Stumbling slightly he grabs his robe and wraps himself in it, looking in the mirror absently. He hates doing that now, his eyes are bloodshot still, and all he can see is the slut he is. He hates himself.  _

_ Taking in a breath he goes for his door and instantly is met with his mother reaching for it too.  _

_ “What the hell is all of this Han Jisung.” She is eerily calm, it sends shivers down his spine. In her hand she had a bag of weed and a joint.  _

_ “Ma, wh-What are you doing home?” He stutters trying to blink the fact he’s hungover away. Hungover, thoroughly fucked, and a kinda high still.  _

_ “Answer me Jisung, is this what you’ve been doing while we’ve been working? Getting high? Drinking? Having sex? You’re 16,” she grows angrier.  _

_ “Don’t even try to tell me this isn’t what it looks like either.” She grabs him by his hair, he whines loud, head aching. This alone makes him feel like Dohun is grabbing him.  _

_ “I, I don’t know what to tell you.” He whispers while she pushes him on the couch, he feels tears in his eyes as she glares at him.  _

_ “When did this start huh? I didn’t raise you to be foolish, we trust you with this house Jisung and this is how you use it.”  _

_ His tears now start, god what the hell is wrong with him?  _

_ “I, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean, I’m sorry I disappointed you.” He whimpers hands going into his eyes. His mother stares at her son, this is not her boy, she barely recognizes this Jisung in front of her.  _

_ “I’ll do better I promise, I’m sorry,” he cries harder.  _

_ She looks at him closer, he’s so skinny, way more than when they last saw each other.  _

_ “Jisung,” She crouches down to be eye level with him, she can clearly see the marks on his neck, and the cuts on his wrists.  _

_ “Please don’t think you can’t trust me, you, you can, I just messed up, I’m sorry.” He’s starting to get hysterical. She can’t tell if it’s because he’s still so clearly high, or because he’s hungover.  _

_ “Sungie look at me.” She takes his hands, turning his wrists over to get a better look.  _

_ He hiccups, nose running, body shaking.  _

_ “What’s going on honey? Who is hurting you like this?” She whispers.  _

_ He looks up realizing the cuts are clearly visibly and yanks his arms away from her. “N-nobody,” she pulls him closer, pushing the robe down slowly.  _

_ Her eyes watering. He tries to put it back on, knowing what he looks like. “Oh honey…” she very timidly rubs her fingertips over the jagged marks on his biceps. She can practically count his ribs, his collar bone sticking out way too much.  _

_ “Tell me Jisung, you look sick sweetie, you’re too skinny, you’re hurting yourself, this is not how you should be treated.” He then is wrapped around her, crying hard into her shoulder.  _

_ “Shhh you’re okay honey,” Saemi holds him close, this is way more than just her son being a bit of a rebel now.  _

_ “He’s not hurting me, it’s not his fault, I said it was okay to smoke and drink here even though I shouldn’t have. I just wanted him to like me mummy.” He cries into her shoulder. Her heart breaks for him.  _

_ “Sungie, you’re beautiful, you do not need to change who you are for anyone, and certainly not in this way. He does not deserve someone as gentle and kind as you, and if he leaves you like this, he does not love you like you may love him.” She lets her son cry into her chest, sobs now going through his body.  _

_ When he finally starts to calm down she lifts his head, “you are not off the hook for this, if I ever come home and find any drugs or alcohol you’re moving back to Malaysia with your father no second chances no no begging. Now go take a shower and sober up.” She makes him stand, he nods quickly and goes to the bathroom.  _

_ He shakes the whole time, whether from tweaking out or how scared he is. Staring in the mirror he hates what he sees again, ugly, stupid, slut, whore, all the words Dohun tells him ring in his mind.  _

_ Before he even realizes what he’s doing there’s metal between his fingers and red streaming down the drain. He cries, wanting the release to come, it doesn’t though. He just wants it to go away, this feeling. All these feelings. He wants to be numb.  _

_ Why does he go back?  _

_ Because he loves him, because he doesn’t really mean those angry words, because he belongs to him and vice versa.  _

_ Finally he gets out once the water runs cold, he needs to tell Dohun what happened.  _

_ “Where are you going?” His mother throws another bottle away as she speaks. He pulls his hood on and wraps his arms around himself.  _

_ “I’m, going to break up with him.” He whispers, she nods, “be back by five, no later.” Jisung nods and then runs out the door. He takes the bus to Dohun’s hoping he’s home, he forgot his phone to text him.  _

_ He gets there and shakes as he knocks, Dohun lives in the basement apartment of his parents home.  _

_ His mother answers with a smile, “Jisung, I thought you were already here,”  _

_ “Oh, no, is Dohun home? I really need to talk to him.”  _

_ “He should be.” She lets him in and he shoots down the stairs. Approaching the door he grows uneasy, heart racing.  _

_ He can hear moans inside, he’s very aware Dohun sleeps with other people and that makes him really sad sometimes. But he’s not good enough to satisfy him so it’s fine that he does.  _

_ Quietly he knocks on the door, lower lip between his teeth, when there’s no answer he timidly walks in.  _

_ Inside he’s met with Dohun bending some chick they go to school with over the counter. Jisung gasps quickly covering his eyes like a baby.  _

_ “Oh my god what is he doing here!?” The girl shrieks. Dohun looks up and instantly is annoyed.  _

_ Abruptly he pulls out of the girl, shoving himself back into his jeans, “wait here.” He grabs Jisung’s arm yanking him into his bedroom.  _

_ “What the fuck are you doing here? Why didn’t you text me?” He hisses, pushing his chest so his back hits the closet.  _

_ Ji shrinks back again the wood, “I, didn’t get a chance, Ma came home, she saw, everything Dohun, I’m in so much trouble.” Tears start in his eyes again. Dohun looks at him with a blank expression.  _

_ “You came over unannounced because your mom found your weed stash? Seriously Jisung? Haven’t you learned anything?” The younger boy suddenly gets angry.  _

_ “She didn’t just see the weed! She saw me! She saw what you left! She, she saw my arms, my neck!” He shouts hands going to fists.  _

_ “And? That’s not my problem, you should know better to clean up.”  _

_ Jisung feels rage go through him, unable to help himself he just lets everything come out of him. The numbness he wanted to feel before gone, pure anger shoots through his veins. The first time in a long time he raises his voice above a whisper when talking to Dohun.  _

_ “I should know better?!? You leave me every time high, drunk, barely able to walk! You say that I’m yours and you care about me but you do a shitty job of showing it! I love you, I love you so fucking much and you treat me like I’m nothing, like I’m some crack whore you found on the street!” He screams now, the realization of everything hitting him at once.  _

_ Dohun stays silent and then in the next second slaps him, right across the face, hard. Way harder than ever before, Jisung stumbles back, his hand on his cheek, pain and shock settling in.  _

_ “Don’t you ever raise your voice at me like that, you think you deserve more than you get you're wrong-“ before he can say anything else Jisung pushes him back, all his strength going into it. “I’m not a toy! I’m a person, and fuck you for thinking I ever belonged to you!”  _

_ “Oh so you don’t suddenly? You’re nothing without me Jisung. Nobody wants you, you should be thanking me Ji honestly.”  _

_ Sungie shakes, his teeth grit together, “Th-Thank you? For what? For making me lose all my friends? For the bruises and the hangovers?”  _

_ Dohun glares at him, “you don’t want it anymore fine, leave I don’t give a fuck. The only reason I keep you around is because Kye won’t let me ditch you.”  _

_ Jisung wipes his eyes, he knows Dohun likes to see him cry.  _

_ “Then let me! You don’t, let me do anything without you. I’m not allowed to go out without you, if you don’t care then let me leave!”  _

_ Dohun grabs him around the neck Jisung tries to pull his hand off, his back hits against the wall again.  _

_ “Don’t ever, talk to me like that again.” He shoves his face hard into the door, Jisung cries out, falling to the floor, the world spins. Something, something is very wrong. Normally he can get up after a few seconds, but he, can’t. His vision is foggy and there’s ringing in his ears.  _

_ He can’t see straight, or really see in general.  _

_ “Holy shit,” Dohun whispers, blood drips from Jisung’s right ear, “fuck fuck fuck.”  _

_ “Baby come here, I didn’t mean it.” He quickly tries to pick him up, Ji crumbled up on the floor, his eyes are rolled back now.  _

_ “Ji wake up,” He brings him out to the counter he’d previously been fucking on.  _

_ “Get out.” He tells the girl, her eyes wide looking at Jisung.  _

_ Sungie starts to come to and is dizzy, he can feel someone touching him. He opens his eyes and sees Dohun is wiping his ear, “oh thank fuck.”  _

_ Jisung blinks a few times, trying to remember what happened.  _

_ “Ji, can you see?” He asks while turning his head to the side.  _

_ It hits Sungie all at once, the pain, the memory. He shoves Dohun’s hands off of him, “don’t touch me!” He shrieks using all his strength to push him away.  _

_ “Let me help you!”  _

_ “Stop! It hurts!” He struggles to get his hands off him.  _

_ “Go away, I don’t want you touching me!” Jisung kicks him now.  _

_ “I’m trying to help you shithead stop hitting me!”  _

_ “You did this to me!” Jisung gets off the counter and stumbles falling to his knees for a second.  _

_ “You can’t leave,” Dohun grabs his ankle, the younger kicks him again, scrambling to get to his feet.  _

_ “Fuck you.”  _

_ Dohun grabs him again, Jisung does something he’s never done, he swings. His fist connects with his face, breaking his stupid glasses against his face. Both of them stare in shock, Sungie then pushed away hard. He darts for Dohun’s phone not having his own. Then he’s turning away and scrambling up the stairs. Stumbling and tripping due to his spinning vision. His tears streaming down his face mixing with the blood coming from his ear. . Not saying a word to his mother as he slams the door on the way out.  _

_ He can barely walk, the world swaying badly. This is not good, he needs help.  _

_ Kye.  _

_ Messily he opens Dohun’s phone and calls Kye,  _ **_Do? What’s up?”_ **

_ “K-Kye…” Jisung sobs at the sound of his voice breaking badly.  _

**_‘Ji? What’s wrong baby?’_ **

_ “I, I need help, h-he hurt me.” He slides down a tree curling into a ball.  _

**_‘Okay, give me a second, where are you? Is he still with you?’_ **

_ “N-no, d-don’t know where I am.” The world starts to spin again, another wave a dizziness coming. His eyes roll back, Kye starts shouting on the other end of the line.  _

_ “Holy fuck Dohun, what did you do to him?” Ji wakes up slowly, blinking rapidly.  _

_ “I didn’t think I pushed him that hard.”  _

_ Jisung stares up at the sky, he sees Kye’s red hair and takes a deep breath.  _

_ “Jiji, How you feeling honey?” A hand touches his hair and he flinches.  _

_ “Don’t touch his head,” Kye puts him in the back of the car.  _

_ “Should I sit with him?”  _

_ “Don’t touch him, you’re not coming with us Dohun.” Kye’s voice is stern.  _

_ “Why not?” Jisung sits up on his elbows, his right eye is swollen, he can barely see out of it.  _

_ “Because you did this! You-do you even understand what you did? What you’ve done?”  _

_ “Kye…” Jisung’s whispers.  _

_ “Yeah honey?” Kye and Dohun both rush to him.  _

_ “Hmm, don’t feel good, gonna throw up.” He takes in a breath and then lurches forward throwing up all over their shoes.  _

_ “Gross Jisung.” Dohun groans.  _

_ “He needs to go to the hospital.” Kye moves into the car and helps Jisung sit back up.  _

_ “He can’t.” _

_ Kye shakes his head, moving from the car, “Dohun, his ear is bleeding, he keeps passing out and he just threw up, he’s not hungover there is something seriously wrong with him. This isn’t just a I pushed him and you have to cover the bruise with makeup. You could have fucked up his brain.” _

_ The redhead pushes him back, he shuts the back door and gets in his car needing to bring Jisung to the hospital.  _

_ * _

_ “How did this happen?” Jisung wakes up slowly, his right eye is blocked off completely. He can’t see anything.  _

_ “His, friend pushed him.”  _

_ “Pushed him? This is far more than a push, his body is covered in bruising, he has self harm scars and fresh ones lining his thighs and arms. He is a victim of abuse, he’s way underweight. He should be one thirty to one forty pounds, he’s barely a hundred. He has clear signs of bulimia, his throat and mouth are cut from self induced vomiting, he has calluses all over his fingers from pushing them down his throat. Whoever is doing this to him needs to be out of his life or he is going to die.” The doctors words are stern, Sungie hears all of them.  _

_ “I feel like I’m going to be sick.” He whispers making the doctor and Kye look over. The doctor hands him a bin and a glass of water as he vomits again.  _

_ “I will have the nurse bring you some medicine for the dizziness. It’ll help calm your stomach, okah?” Jisung nods.  _

_ “Can you tell me a few things honey?” She asks sitting on the edge of the chair close to the bed.  _

_ “Hmhm,”  _

_ “What is your name?”  _

_ Jisung swallows, “Han, Han Jisung.”  _

_ “It’s nice to meet you Jisung, do you know what day it is?” He nods again.  _

_ “Sunday.”  _

_ “Good, what about the month?”  _

_ “It’s, May, almost June.”  _

_ “Good job, can you tell me what happened to you?” _

_ Jisung shifts, hands pulling at the hospital gown he’s in, the blankets pulled up to his tummy.  _

_ “I, I went to Dohun’s house because my mummy found out about, stuff I’ve been doing. He got mad at me and pushed me into a door. Then I pushed him back because I was angry, he yelled at me more and then grabbed my throat and slammed my face, into the door.” He starts to cry again, it hurts his eye though.  _

_ “Okay, thank you for telling me. Is your mummy at home still? How old are you?”  _

_ “I She should be. You can’t tell her! She’s gonna get so mad at me!”  _

_ “Ji, they can't help you anymore without your mom here, you’re a minor.” Kye says softly.  _

_ “I don’t have my phone…” he pulls his legs to his chest.  _

_ “You can call her on mine.” Timidly he takes it from Kye. The call is awful. The following days are terrible.  _

_ Saemi was ready to kill Dohun, she had charges pressed, it was insane. He got arrested for bodily harm to a minor but that was all, and all he got was community service. _

_ His mother decided it was best to spend a few weeks at the mental hospital for Jisung. He missed two weeks of school. And ended up going back after an attempt at suicde one very drunk evening in the middle of the summer when he went back to Dohun like an idiot. He did it so many times, it took him so long to figure out how to stay away for good.  _

_ He was like a drug, an addiction, but like all addictions no matter how much pain it causes you still go back. It’s comfort it’s normalcy. It’s habit.  _

_ But then he met Minho, and despite popular belief it was not Min that saved him. It was him that saved him no one else.  _

_ Min was there to support him, he didn’t make his depression go away, Minho coming into his life didn’t magically stop his eating disorder. He didn’t stop the panic attacks he had or ease his anxiety. But he was there, he helped him, he made Sungie feel good again. He still does, there are times even more when Jisung gets so worked up and anxious he just starts eating and eating and he can’t control it.  _

_ Minho is that light that talks him through it, he is that person, that through all his faults has stuck by him since they met _

_ * _

**Author's Note:**

> That was the longest one yet I think. But yeah I really really wanted to get the point across that Minho did not save Jisung because that's not how shit like this works. And a lot of fics make it seem like just because the character find each other all the bad stuff goes away. That aint it sis. Lemme get off my soap box though...okay! How did you guys like it!? I finally gave you the headspace Sungie we all have been waiting for. He's baby I love him. 
> 
> Also get ready for some 10/10 anniversary action lmao. 
> 
> And again a lot of this was prewritten hence the no changlix smut, but it's coming, I know I keep saying that but it is! I just really have to down and write that bitch. 
> 
> I'm also going to do a lot of the requests in the near future so if ya put one in I'm coming for ya! 
> 
> Anyway,
> 
> Thoughts?
> 
> Questions?
> 
> Requests?
> 
> Love always,
> 
> -Eza<3
> 
> also come see me on twitter i retweet cute cats and minsung @foreverbattles


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